Backlash &
Misrepresentation
One of the issues most men face is the lack of awareness, or understanding of what the men’s movement (and circles) is and what it can offer. The movement up until just recently has been largely underground. Even the largest organization The ManKind Project remains largely unknown to the masses.
The reasons are multidimensional and at times nuanced and complicated. This page will attempt to provide a snapshot of the issues and reasons.
Resistance to Vulnerability and Emotional Expression
For many years, mainstream masculinity has been built on values like emotional repression, isolation, ego and self-reliance. These ideals have deeply shaped how men are expected to behave, both in private and in public. In many cultures, expressing vulnerability or emotional distress has been viewed as a sign of weakness, making the idea of men coming together to openly share their emotions and inner struggles inherently counter-cultural.
This resistance it is important to note, is often most felt from men being ridiculed by other men for vulnerability and showing emotion. This is almost always unconscious, the man saying it, is often coming from a place of being starved of the very thing he is ridiculing. Nevertheless when men are met with vulnerability they often react defensively to protect any feelings from bubbling up.
Additional key themes and reason include:
Fear of judgment: There has been a pervasive belief that men who express vulnerability are weak or unmanly, which has made men’s circles and emotional vulnerability topics of social stigma.
Cultural conditioning: Generations of men were conditioned to uphold an ideal of “toughness,” leading many to internalize the belief that needing help or emotional support is a form of failure.
Lack of role models: The absence of publicly visible male role models who express emotional depth or seek emotional growth has kept these circles under the radar.
The Influence of Traditional Gender Roles
The structure of traditional gender norms has kept men’s emotional and personal growth largely private or even hidden. While women have historically found more freedom in pursuing personal development, emotional intelligence, and open discussions about life’s challenges, men have been expected to conform to a rigid masculine code.
This code is again, pervasive amongst men. It is organic in nature, it is the default mode of operation and reaction. “Don’t be a pussy”, “Don’t cry like a girl” are common sentiments as an example. And on a baseline level it is known and expected that you are opening yourself up to ridicule if you present yourself as anything but “manly” in the company of other men.
Patriarchy and Power: The men’s movement challenges the patriarchal framework by suggesting that men, too, have been harmed by rigid gender norms. This is a threat to the status quo, as men’s liberation movements directly critique traditional power structures. Because of this, men's work -which calls for introspection, vulnerability, and rethinking traditional masculinity- has been met with resistance or relegated to the margins of society.
Under representation & misrepresentation in media: Men’s circles and the men’s movement have been largely absent from mainstream media, and when they have appeared, they’ve often been portrayed as niche or fringe movements. Due to modern media playing to ratings, the extreme factions of men’s movements are often the ones being portrayed and naturally the public shaped their understanding of it through these lens. Many now believe that if men are gathering, it must be politically, racially and hatred motivated.
Historical Backlash and Misunderstanding
As mentioned in the last paragraph of the media portion there has been some backlash against the men’s movement. Particularly from groups who misunderstood its goals or perceived it as an attempt to undermine feminism or to reassert male dominance. In fairness, there are of course, many movements of men that are extremist, nationalist and focused on a return of power and dominance over women (and other races). Unfortunately, this is usually the focus and the true movement is lost in the desire to focus on the fringes.
In the early days, especially during the 1980s and 1990s, some segments of the media and the public viewed the men’s liberation movement as a reactionary response to the feminist movement.
The Myth of "Men’s Rights": In some circles, the men’s movement was associated with more reactionary, anti-feminist ideologies that emphasized male victim hood or sought to reassert patriarchal structures. This has led to the movement being framed as controversial or undesirable in some quarters.
Misconception of "weakness": Early critiques from some men's circles were misunderstood as promoting male vulnerability as a form of weakness rather than strength. This sometimes led to a lack of public trust or interest in the movement.
The Rise of Feminism and Gender Fluidity
The men’s movement and men’s circles developed during the same period as the feminist movement and the rise of gender fluidity. Many men’s work advocates found themselves navigating a complex cultural terrain: challenging old models of masculinity while also seeking to avoid the perception that they were competing with or undermining the feminist agenda.
Complementary, not adversarial: The tension between the men’s movement and feminism often led to men’s work being marginalized or misunderstood as being in competition with women’s rights. In truth, many leaders in the men’s movement, such as Robert Bly and Sam Keen, have expressed that their work complements feminist ideals by encouraging men to break free from harmful gender stereotypes and create more authentic lives. However, this message wasn’t always communicated clearly or simply misrepresented to/by the broader public.
Identity and fluidity: As gender roles have evolved over the past few decades, discussions around masculinity have become more diverse and nuanced, complicating the public discourse. Men’s work has had to navigate this growing understanding of gender fluidity, making it less about enforcing a strict masculine identity and more about helping men explore who they are, beyond societal expectations. This exploration often happens in more private, personal spaces like men’s circles rather than in the public sphere.
Men's Work as Personal, Sacred, and Transformative
The deeply personal and spiritual nature of much of the men’s work has also contributed to its relatively private nature. Many men’s circles focus on practices that can feel sacred, such as rite of passage work, initiation rituals, and shadow work. These types of experiences can be intense, transformative, and often inwardly focused, making them more suited for small, intimate gatherings rather than large public events.
A space for self-actualization: The transformation that occurs in men’s circles often leads to deep personal insight and internal growth. Many of the practices (e.g., Jungian psychology, mythological exploration, shamanic healing) are rooted in traditions that emphasize personal awakening and may not always be easily understood or appreciated by outsiders.
Privacy vs. performativity: Men’s circles often provide a safe space for men to engage in deep emotional work without the need for external validation or public visibility. Many participants in men’s circles prefer to keep their involvement private to protect the sanctity and authenticity of their emotional growth.
Lack of visual, media representation, particularly in the digital age. Due to the private, deeply personal nature of this work, video and photos are rarely ever taken in these spaces. While understandable and important to the work itself, it creates a void of understanding of what the work actually is. This allows for the public at large to fill in the blanks in their own minds, alongside the false narratives that are promoted through culture and media. Many will hear about this work and associate it cults and other nefarious activities.
The Focus on Action and Results
A lot of men's work, especially in contemporary circles, is rooted in action-oriented practices such as accountability, goal-setting, and personal transformation. While these practices are highly effective, they often take place behind the scenes. In contrast to more public, social forms of activism, men’s work often happens on an individual level or within small, focused communities, which can keep it less visible to the broader public.
Shifting the focus from “talk” to “doing”: Men’s circles and the movement have focused more on actionable results and self-improvement rather than large-scale social advocacy. This approach contrasts with more visible social movements that have a stronger public presence.
In other words, much of the impact of the work that men do, is not inherently trackable, tangible or numbers based. Due to its holistic, inner nature, the impact (while transformative and impactful within a man’s life and orbit) is not something that can be quantified and promoted in modern terminology and expectations.
Why It's Emerging Now
In recent years, however, men's work has gained increased visibility, partly due to broader societal conversations about mental health, emotional well-being, and toxic masculinity. The #MeToo movement, growing awareness of men’s mental health issues, and the increasing popularity of self-help and spiritual communities have all helped bring more attention to men’s emotional needs and the benefits of participating in men’s circles.
Additionally, the rise of online platforms and virtual men’s circles has made it easier for men to engage in the work without the same social stigma that existed in the past. These online spaces have allowed men to explore their vulnerability, form connections, and receive support without the pressure of being visible or exposed in their local communities.
Issues in the Digital Age
The recent visibility, while largely positive and helpful in awareness, certainly has its new challenges and issues. Many of the issues listed above are still pervasive. What is new, is the large and growing number of “influencers” and “coaches” who are promoting this work without proper training and historical perspective. Like anything, there is a faction who are praying upon those who are suffering and looking for solutions, without having an understanding of the work and often times not healing themselves.
With the wild west nature of social media, anyone can claim to be an expert or coach. Many who are promoting this work are not honoring where much of the wisdom and knowledge originated from and are co-opting it for their own monetary gain. A core part of this movement and work has been honoring the ancient, indigenous origins and continuing the legacy of creating ritual space.
In Closing
The men’s movement and men’s circles have remained somewhat underground for a variety of reasons, including cultural stigmas around male vulnerability, societal resistance to redefining masculinity, and the personal, spiritual nature of the work. However, as societal views on gender, mental health, and emotional intelligence evolve, these circles are becoming more visible, accessible, and accepted as legitimate spaces for male transformation.
The underground nature of men’s circles may actually have been an essential part of their strength, allowing them to foster authentic, transformative spaces outside the gaze of public scrutiny. As the movement grows and shifts, it will likely continue to evolve, becoming more integrated into broader cultural conversations while retaining its deep, transformative core.